homeschool tips Archives

How to Reduce Learning Resistance in Your Homeschool

Every homeschool parent hits it eventually. The crossed arms. The dramatic sighs. The “I don’t want to do this” that somehow stretches a 20-minute lesson into a two-hour standoff. Learning resistance is real — and it’s exhausting. But with a few simple strategies, you can reduce learning resistance and change the whole dynamic.

Here’s what works in our house.

Reframe it: Us vs. the task.

One of the biggest sources of resistance is the dynamic itself. When a parent is telling a child what to do, and the child doesn’t want to do it, you get a power struggle. But when you step out of the adversarial position and join your child’s side — everything changes.

Instead of: “You need to do your math.”

Try: “Okay, we’ve got math to get through today. Let’s figure it out together.”

You’re not making them do anything. The math exists. It has to be done. And you’re both in it together. That reframe alone — us vs. the task instead of me vs. you — can dissolve resistance before it even starts.

For example, when my daughter was struggling with her Grade 5 math, I sat down with her and said, “Let’s solve this puzzle together.” Suddenly, it wasn’t about her doing it alone; it was a team effort.

Be honest about the reality.

My kids always responded well to straightforwardness. When resistance crept in, I would tell them:

“There is no reality in which you don’t learn today. That’s just not one of our options.”

Not as a threat. Just as a fact.

“We can do this long and slow and hard with you fighting me the whole way. Or we can buckle down together, get through it, and have the rest of the day free. But you know as well as I do that there’s no version of today where we skip school work.”

Kids — especially older ones — respond to being treated like they’re smart enough to understand reality. Because they are. This isn’t something I’m doing to you. This is something that needs to be done. Let’s just do it.

When my son was in Grade 8, he appreciated when I laid out the day’s work and explained, “This is what needs to be done for you to move on to high school next year.” It made the tasks feel purposeful.

Give them choice and autonomy wherever you can.

This is probably the single most powerful tool in my toolkit. Resistance often isn’t about the work itself — it’s about feeling controlled. When kids have no say in anything, resentment builds. When they have ownership over even small decisions, the whole energy of the day shifts.

Some ways to build autonomy into your homeschool day:

Let them choose the order. Write today’s subjects on the whiteboard and let them decide what to tackle first. They’re doing everything on the list — but they’re doing it their way.
Let them choose their courses. In subjects like science and social studies, where there’s more flexibility, let them pick what they study. A child who chose to study volcanoes is a very different learner than one who was assigned volcanoes.
Let them choose how they show what they know. Does the answer have to be written? Or could they explain it out loud, build something, draw something, record a video? Wherever you can offer a choice in how they demonstrate learning, offer it.

The more ownership a child has over their education, the less they feel the need to fight it. My youngest loves art, so when she was learning about ecosystems, I let her create a diorama instead of writing a report. She was engaged and excited to share her work.

Remind yourself — and them — that homeschool isn’t a full school day.

Sometimes resistance builds simply because a child feels like the work is never going to end. And if they’re picturing a six or eight hour school day stretching ahead of them, that feeling makes complete sense.

One of the most liberating things you can do is be transparent about how short homeschool actually is. Most homeschool days — done well and without the wasted time of a traditional classroom — take between one and three hours depending on your child’s age. That’s it.

When a child knows that buckling down means being done by lunchtime, the calculation changes completely. (Not sure how long your homeschool day should be? Read our full guide here: How Many Hours Should You Homeschool Each Day?)

For instance, when my kids realized they could finish by noon if they focused, they were much more motivated to get started each day.

The bottom line.

Learning resistance is almost never about learning. It’s about feeling controlled. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling like there’s no end in sight and no say in any of it.

Give your child a partner instead of an authority. Give them honesty instead of pressure. Give them choices wherever you can. And remind them — and yourself — that you’re not recreating school at home. You’re doing something much better than that.

How I Built a Homeschool Schedule That Didn’t Burn Us Out

by Lindsey

When I think back on our homeschool journey, I remember the spiral-bound planner I bought during that first summer. I had every hour penciled in. Math at 9. Language at 10. Science after lunch. I thought if I could just replicate the structure of a school day at home, we’d be successful. I was trying so hard to “do it right.” But right for who?

What followed were weeks of power struggles. One of my kids melted down every time we had to switch subjects. The other would hyperfocus on one thing and resist everything else. I found myself repeating the same sentence over and over: “We’re behind.” I felt behind. All the time. And so did they.

One day, I remember snapping at my youngest over handwriting. She was crying. I was too. We closed the books and walked away. I sat on the couch, defeated. And that night, after they’d gone to bed, I looked at the planner and realized it wasn’t designed for us. It was built on someone else’s idea of learning. Not mine. Not my kids’.

That’s when I started paying attention to something else—not the clock, but their energy. Their moods. When they were curious. When they were tired. When they needed to move. I swapped strict scheduling for rhythms. Short lessons. Wiggle breaks. Slow mornings. Outside time. And something amazing happened—we all calmed down.

They started learning more. Not because I was teaching harder, but because they were finally able to receive it. And I started feeling more like their guide and less like their warden.

That’s when we started using a flexible homeschool planner. One that gave us space to adjust. One that didn’t guilt-trip us with empty checkboxes, but reminded us to focus on the whole child. I used to think we had to cover every subject, every day, in order to be doing homeschooling the “right” way. Now, I know better.

There are still days where we only get through half a lesson, or days when everyone’s too grumpy to do anything academic. But that’s okay. Because I’ve learned that building a homeschool schedule is less about fitting everything in and more about building a life where learning fits.

And that’s what makes it sustainable. That’s what makes it stick.

certified special-ed educator & co-founder, Schoolio

Should You Take a Break From Homeschooling?

Feeling overwhelmed, tired and frustrated? But still pressing through the list of assignments? When you’re feeling like this, should you take a break from homeschooling? Or should you continue working? And will your kids fall behind if you take a break?

Being a homeschooling parent means that you get access to a whole new level of parental guilt. Including the guilt you will feel for taking breaks from school. Homeschooling parents often have trouble justifying their need for time off because they have too much to do, all the time.

Here’s a bold truth when it comes to homeschooling and breaks.

It’s important to remember that you don’t need to wait for certain times of the year to take a much needed break from homeschooling. Maybe you’re sick, or your kids are sick and have been up all night. Should you press into school work? Or should you take a break? The answer is obvious, take a break! Are you encountering a stressful life event? Should you take a break from homeschooling? Or push through? You already know the answer, take a break!

Pushing yourself and your children to accomplish assignments during a time of stress or sickness will not benefit anyone. And chances are, your child will not remember a single thing from these forced lessons. Because the brain cannot learn under intense amounts of stress.

What if you just took a break?

If you just took a break from the daily routine, and are feeling the need for another one. Should you take a break from homeschooling again? The answer is: You can do what your family needs. Maybe your family doesn’t need a total break from homeschooling. But rather a simple break from a certain trouble subject. Maybe you need a break from cooking three meals a day? Or perhaps you need a break from the never ending chores that come with motherhood.

As a homeschooling parent you are in a constant state of movement. Maybe you just need to slow down. A full break of everything can sometimes be so nice, and exactly what we need. But as a homeschooling parent you will notice that sometimes homeschooling can get lumped into the same category as laundry, cooking, cleaning and working. All the tasks turn out to be your tasks, and you’re tired of them.

So Ask Yourself, Is It a Break From Homeschooling That I Need? Or Do I Just Need to Adjust My Plate?

First of all, if you are running your homeschool like a military school, nothing will go smoothly for you. I’m sorry, but it won’t. That’s just a fact. You don’t have to run through Math, Social Studies, Science, Language Arts, Music and Art all on the same day. On the same note, you don’t need to have a beautifully clean home that people walk into and say “Wow how do you do it all?” You also don’t need to prepare three spectacular meals a day. Let’s be honest, no one will eat them all anyway.

If you feel like it’s just your plate that needs adjusting.

That’s totally fine! You are the master of your own life. If you feel like your plate is off balance than it is! It’s up to you to make the right changes to shift the plate to a maintainable balance.

You can try: Adjusting your school work.

Is the non stop curriculum draining you and your kids? Try laying out their curriculum differently each day. Instead of trying to crush all the subjects and grasp all the learning opportunities in one day, shift it around. Is math your challenge subject? Then try mixing a math day with a fun learning opportunity like art. Aim to do just one or two subjects a day. And don’t overdo it! It can be so tempting, when our kids are doing really well with a subject, to try to get them to do more. Do more lessons so you’re ‘ahead’. Or even add in more curriculum books.

Trust me when I say: Don’t do that. It’s so much better for your child to learn in a relaxed format. Rather than the chaos of adding more. Often times when you add more to the day, the balance gets totally overturned.

Using a food delivery service/order take out.

I totally understand that take out is not doable every night. Although, I really wish it could be. But if you’ve just had a day that has completely gone off the rails and you’re exhausted. Then order some take out. If you know that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your families problem days, then do yourself a huge favour and either meal plan and prep for those three days or order a meal service.

That way you know on those days, that dinner is covered. Because dinner seems to be such a stress point for almost every mom I know. It’s just another thing that you’re expected to do after a busy day. So, planning ahead can be a game changer.

Lower the standards.

This one is oh, so hard. Especially if you gravitate towards false perfection. Perhaps you just saw a beautiful spread of your friend’s kids lunch on Pinterest. She really cut the strawberries into Mickey Mouse. How do you compete with that? Oh! The answer is so simple! You don’t. When you finally understand that you don’t need to have ridiculous standards, you will free yourself from so much stress and tension. So, your kids ate bagels for breakfast? Instead of potatoes, French toast and a fruit salad? That’s fine! Ok, so your kid had peanut butter and jam sandwiches for lunch? That’s great! You had cereal for dinner? That’s awesome!

Now you’re looking at your house and cringing because the laundry has been unfolded by the laundry room door for 4 days. There’s dirty dishes in the sink, and one of your kids tracked mud all through the house? It happens. One thing I have to remind myself, over and over again is that we live here! As much as I’d love to have a model home that just sparkles and shines, it’s unrealistic. Because the truth is that the second I clean the house my kids will destroy it. We live here. Lowering your standards when it comes to cleaning will greatly resolve the negative feelings that you have towards yourself.

Outsource when needed.

There are many areas of your life that you can be outsourcing if you need to. I get that as moms we feel the desire to have it altogether and to accomplish everything on our own. But let’s be honest, is that actually realistic? Were you meant to do all of the things, all of the time, on your own? Absolutely not! Pull out a piece or paper and a pen and write down the areas that you are struggling the most. Teaching the kids math? That’s ok! There are so many resources available to help with that. From online tutors to helpful workbooks.

Maybe you’re struggling with just doing a basic clean of your house? That’s totally ok! There are lots of house cleaners available for as cheap as $20 an hour. If you have someone come and help you with cleaning for just three hours every other week. That will cost you a total of $60. Alternatively, you could chat with family or friends to see if there is anyway they could help you here and there. You’d be surprised how often people would really love to help. They just don’t want to ask because they are afraid to offend your independence. And as homeschooling parents we often have a way about us that says “I can do it all! Don’t worry.” But that’s unrealistic. Please ask for help.

Have mandatory fun days.

Days that are dedicated to fun learning. No math or language arts allowed here. This day is all about science, art, and music. You could even make this special school day on a Monday, the day that is so hard to get back into the homeschool groove. Or maybe Wednesday, when everyone has the mid-week boredom. Adding in a fun day can freshen up the whole family and help everyone get back on track.

Maybe you’ve done all of these things and you’re still just not feeling it. Should you take a break from homeschooling?

Here are some clear signs that you should take a break from homeschooling:

1. You’re sick.

If you’re sick, it’s perfectly normal and healthy to take some time off school. Especially if you’re barely functioning. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. If you need a day off, that’s ok. The truth is, you don’t actually get a day off. Because as parents we are always on duty. Even so, it’s better to take a few things off your plate if you’re feeling unwell. So, put the schoolbooks away, turn on The Magic School Bus, and snuggle up on the couch.

2. A Family Emergency.

No one wants to deal with the terrifying experiences that family emergencies bring. Therefore, if you’re experiencing a family emergency, you should absolutely take time off from homeschooling. Even if there’s nothing you can directly do about the emergency. Your mind just won’t be in a clear place to teach. Pushing homeschool on a tough day like that will just make learning tricky while triggering high stress levels. Take a break.

3. Your Kids are Sick.

When your kids are sick they will have a much more difficult time focusing. Blowing their noses, having tummy aches. Rubbing their head from a head ache. Your kids need to rest. And so do you.

4. You’re just not prepared for the day.

Everyone has those days. And if someone claims that they don’t — they are lying. Instead of stressing trying to make copies and flip through lesson plans. Watch an interesting movie about history, or a documentary instead. Go outside and learn about the weather, or the uniqueness of the trees. Turn those messy, unorganized days into wholesome days that you and your children will remember.

5. Your Kids Clearly Need a Break.

It’s called a mental health day. And even kids in the public school system take them. Sometimes your kids will need a break. Just like public and private schools have PA days. You also can take days here and there to allow your kids the downtime that they need.

6. There’s a Fun Event Planned.

Learning is all around us. If you have a unique field trip planned to the museum. Then don’t force textbooks on that day. Let the learning come from this fun event or field trip that you have planed instead.

7. Your Kids Can’t Focus.

Some days you will find that your kids just can’t focus. Why does this happen? I really don’t know. Some people say it’s the full moon? But I know for a fact my kids have lost focus when there isn’t a full moon. I really don’t think that anyone knows the reason why our kids sometimes just can’t focus. But if that’s your family. Then close the workbooks and go outside. Go for a long walk, hike or run with your kids. Go to the park. Explore a new neighbourhood. Change up the scenery. Breathe in the fresh air. Let the sun shine on your face.

8. It’s Nice Outside.

This is a real thing. I’m not even kidding. So many homeschooling families that I know, who have been homeschooling for ten years or more. All say that they take breaks when it’s nice outside. Because no one wants to be stuck inside when the weather is amazing. Perhaps it’s spring and you are itching to plant a garden. Then do it! Planting a garden is an amazing learning experience for your kids. Get outside! If you’re feeling overly guilty about taking a break just because it’s nice outside. Then try moving your homeschool outside or, saving that extra work for the rainy days of summer.

You are the only one that can truly speak on behalf of your family and your homeschool. I would say follow your gut. If you feel like school just isn’t a good idea for a day, then take a break. Maybe you feel like you should still be working on some form of school. Then read some books, do an interest based learning unit. Like our Special Interest Units.

You don’t need to overwork yourself and your kids while simultaneously draining yourself of everything just because you don’t want to feel guilty for taking a day or two, or even a week off of school. Taking a homeschool break is ok to do sometimes. So, go for it!