Tag: Help with Homeschool

Why Your Kids Are Driving You Nuts.

You’re now a few weeks into homeschooling and hopefully by now you’ve started to find a groove. Or you’ve learned 82 ways that DON’T work and you’re still searching for a peaceful rhythm.

Let me ask you this: Are your kids driving you crazy?

Are you wondering how on earth the veteran homeschool moms handle this gig? How do they stand being with their kids so much? I mean, you love those kiddos to pieces and you would literally jump in front of a bus for them, but they’re like, literally always here, am I right? 

You’re probably wondering, when do you get a break? When do you get time to yourself? Your kids seem to need a question answered or a snack approved or a fight resolved every 5 minutes! 

So, here’s the veteran homeschool mom secret: Homeschooled kids are actually more independent. 

I’m sorry to say it, I hope you don’t feel offended, and I know there will be people who disagree. It just doesn’t fit the stereotype that homeschooled kids can’t “cut the apron strings” or “have no real-world experience.” (Trust me, if there was a fake world I had access to, I’d be seriously considering moving in as 2020 carries on, but no matter where I go, here I am in the “real world”.)

People ask me all the time about when I get “time to myself” as a homeschool mom. And at first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. I mean, when I think about it, you’re right, they ARE always here aren’t they? I hadn’t really noticed… I mean, I know they are here.  What I truly mean is, I have LOADS of time alone. Half the time I’m really not sure WHERE my kids are. They are home, that I know. But are they in their rooms reading, in the basement playing a boardgame, outside in the backyard? I don’t know. It’s possible I haven’t heard a peep from them in an hour or more.

I write for a living and my desk is in the living room. The living room! Does that blow your mind? I can work in the living room with my kids also in the living room and no one bugs me for long stretches of time. Did your head just explode? My kids aren’t special. They are totally regular kids. Homeschooled kids.

The problem could just be that the school system actually teaches kids to do all these behaviors you are finding obnoxious. And the only way to really fix it is to wait. This is a matter of time, and patience, while your children unlearnsome of the non-academic things school has taught them. I’ve written a list of things the school system has taught your kids that may be driving you bonkers in your early days of homeschooling, and how to help minimize this type of behavior:

1. Asking permission.

Kids in school learn that they have to ask permission for ev.er.y.thing. Need to get a tissue? Sharpen your pencil? Use the washroom? Get a drink of water? Ask. Permission. 

I understand why they do this in school: classroom management. You absolutely cannot manage 30+ children with one adult without a lot of rules and asking permission to do anything that’s different than what the rest of the group is doing. It’s a necessity of the school system. But remember now that your kids are at home, they are used to an environment where they can’t make their own decisions and get up and do something on their own. So when you’re trying to get some work done and hoping your kid can do one simple math page independently, but two minutes after you sit down he’s standing beside your desk chair, saying something like, “Ummm, I need my pencil sharpened…”looking lost and confused and you’re thinking to yourself, “SO SHARPEN IT!!! Why does this need to involve me?!?!!?” Don’t pull your hair out just yet. Take a deep breath, and remind your child that he can sharpen his pencil on his own, he can figure out where and what to do, and in the future he can just do it, without your permission first. Be careful not to simply give the permission they’ve asked you for, or this will just continue. Simply empower them to make their own decisions by gently reminding them every time that they don’t need permission, and they can do what they need to when they need to do it, because you trust them to make those decisions. 

2. Being constantly scheduled.

Odds are, if your kids have spent time in the school system, they’ve gotten pretty used to having every moment scheduled for them. Classes are scheduled, breaks are scheduled, which subject is delivered when, for how long, and the content of that lesson, is all planned out by adults, and your child had zero say in any of it. And if you’re anything like us when our kids were in the system, school takes up so much of your life that your evenings and weekends are usually pretty planned out too with extra-curriculars, obligations, errands, scheduled playdates, and family outings. Your kids are just not used to making decisions for themselves or deciding for themselves how to use their own time. 

This is why you get the “I’m bored”. And you look around at the dozens of toys, games, books, and technology that litter your house and think, “HOW?!? HOW are you not entertained?” But it’s not a matter of not having anything to do, it’s a matter of not knowing what to, because they aren’t used to that kind of choice.

If you think the solution is to micromanage their time, it’s not. I mean, you certainly can, if that brings you joy, and it’ll get rid of the “I’m bored” dilemma, but it won’t teach them anything. Instead, help them brainstorm a mega list of all the things there are to do in your house, and pin it up somewhere. Forbid the words “I’m bored” under threat of chores if you want to, and encourage them to figure out their own entertainment, without (gasp!) any direction from you.

3. Rushing

When my kids were in school, life was a constant rush. As soon as they got up in the morning it was rushing to get breakfast, get ready, get lunches packed, get everyone out the door on time. Kids are rushed and hustled around all day at school: 

“Quickly and quietly through the halls please!” 

“The bell rang, let’s get a move on!” 

“I’m going to count to 3 and by the time I’m done I want everyone in their seats!” 

“Get your snowsuit on! Get your boots on! Let’s go, you’re going to miss the bus home!”

The peaceful pace of homeschool can be such a culture shock, for your kids AND you. You now have the ENTIRE day to get 2ish hours of schoolwork done.  Do you ever get that anxious, twitchy feeling that there are things that you need to be getting done? You know, that feeling you must be forgetting something important? Kids can feel that too! But they’re less capable than adults of labelling their feelings and anxieties and the roots of them. So, while you might just ring your hands, they might jump around on the living room furniture while you’re trying to have a Zoom meeting with your boss.

Try writing a schedule and putting it somewhere they can see that shows them all their free time blocks. Let them visually see how much free time there is going to be today and talk with them about what they think they might choose to do in those times. This will help them feel less uncomfortable with having open time, and help them learn to entertain themselves, if you begin with helping them make those unfamiliar decisions initially. 

4. Fitting In

I’ve talked about the armor our kids wear to protect themselves at school, so I won’t bore you with that rant all over again. But I will say, fitting in is a survival necessity in school social culture. 

When it comes to academics, kids also learn to assimilate and blend in. They learn that the “right” thing to do is to have the “right” answer. No outside the box ideas, no brain dumps, rants, or long trains of thought allowed- you’re holding up the class! 

As a teacher I know that there’s always those kids who wants to tell you a 20 minute story about what their dog ate for breakfast, or go on and on about the new Pokémon card they got- and you half-listen while bustling around the room trying to get everything prepped and set up. Nodding and giving an “uh huh” as often as you can. Until you finally have to interrupt them with a gentle, “That’s really lovely, but I need you to take your seat now so we can start the class” or “That’s a great story, but we need to let someone else have a turn to talk now.” That child has unfortunately been shut down, shut up, and discouraged. It’s not the teacher’s fault- a classroom is a busy place and s/he has other things to do, other children to attend to. S/he DOES need to start class and other kids DO need a turn to talk. The longer your child has been in the school system, the more this natural curiosity, and love of learning, speaking and expressing their thought process has been shut down. 

With your kids learning at home, if your aspiring veterinarian wants to talk about what the dog ate for breakfast in great detail, you can listen. You can google a YouTube video on dogs, you can talk about carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores, you can look at pup’s teeth to see how they differ from our own. You can make that train of thought an entire lesson if you want! Try not to stifle their thoughts when they come pouring out!

Maybe your child isn’t like this though. Maybe when you try to “make learning fun” (what a weird saying- when did learning stop being fun?) by letting them choose topics of interest all you get in response is “I don’t know”. 

Maybe you try to teach in a Socratic fashion by asking questions, and all you get for answers are “I don’t know”. 

Remember that they’ve learned in school to give the right answer, briefly, so class can move on. And they’ve also learned that if they don’t have the right answer, someone else will. So, what’s the point in giving it any lengthy thought? The answer will be provided by either another classmate or the teacher within 30 seconds! This is why your child is so quick to answer with “I don’t know”. In school, you don’t need to think about the answers to questions, you either have the answer or you don’t, and if you don’t, class moves on. 

They’ve also learned to only learn what they’re told to (and because that rarely interests them, they’ve also learned to do the bare minimum required). When you ask something as open ended as “What would YOU like to learn about this year?” that question may just be so big and new that they actually “don’t know”. 

They’ve never had a choice in their education before, so that may just be too big a question right now. Grab some pre-made curriculum or make your own plan on a topic you think they will like based on their interests and go from there. Help them re-open their minds and imaginations and rediscover their love of learning, and their ideas will come back to them!

The bottom line is, hang in there parents. You and your children are brand new to homeschooling, and you both have a lot of unlearning to do. Your groove will come. Your rhythm will be found. Be patient, be kind, be forgiving, take it slow. Lower your expectations. Now lower them again. Hang on to your sanity in these early days of this crazy new ride, and before you know it, you’ll have smooth sailing ahead of you.

Lindsey Casselman is a writer, teacher, and mom. She is the founder of Linden Tree Learning and a valued team member at Schoolio. Lindsey is passionate about helping all parents gain the tools they need to have a successful homeschooling journey.

Welcome: Schoolio Planning Freebies

 

What do you need to accomplish in each day when homeschooling? How can you keep your homeschool on track and set realistic goals that can be easily obtained without throwing you into a frenzy? We love our Schoolio Community, and we care deeply about how you are feeling as a homeschool parent. We don’t want you to feel stressed or worried that you are missing something, or spending the entire day trying to reach unrealistic goals. 

 

 

So what is the best way to have a successful school day? Planning is the best strategy to begin with.  So we had our expert planner, Lindsey, create some awesome free schedule planning tools to help you stay on track and not get overwhelmed. 

One Month Calendar 

Starting out by planning your month is a step in the right direction. You can include field trips, school days and days off on your monthly planner. Pro tip: Use pencil to fill out your monthly calendar, so you can easily erase and update. 

Sometimes the plan has to change, that’s totally normal with homeschooling, so be sure to use pencil or erasable pen. 

Now let’s break it down to a one week plan, Lindsey created an excellent template for planning out the week.  In this planner template, every day is slotted to include Math, Science, Language, Art and so on. Be sure to write down what lessons in which subjects on what days they should be accomplishing them. Remember the Pro Tip, changing up the plan is totally normal.  

Weekly Planner 

 

The weekly planner comes in 1 student or 2 students form. If you have more than one child learning from home, you can take advantage of the Weekly Planner for 2 students. If you have more than 2 students, print out more than one page to match the number of students. 

It’s beyond important to us that you are happy with your homeschool journey. Because we believe that homeschool should be enjoyable for you and your child, it doesn’t have to be ‘another stressful thing’ added to your already full plate. It can be such an enjoyable ride, that you and your child will never forget.   

Take advantage of our free weekly planner and monthly planner downloads. Made free, because we care about your success, time and happiness. 

 

Download our FREE Weekly Planner and One Month Calendar: 

 

 


Weekly Planner – 1 Student


Weekly Planner – 2 Student


One Month Planner

Let’s Talk About: Co-Ops

Hey Lindsey, what is a Co-Op? And how can I run one in my own town or city?

“Great question! You may have heard homeschoolers mention co-op and not really understood what it was. Last year our homeschool group had a seminar/guest speaker on creating your own home co-op, so allow me share the wisdom with you!

What is Co-Op: Co-Op generally is any sort of “co-operative” grouping. The number of participants, rules, and themes can of course vary widely. It all depends on what YOU want out of it!

We participate in 3 co-ops, and all three are quite different. The local group we’re members of runs a large co-op. We meet once a month, and the co-op coordinator picks subjects for each month, like Science, Art, Phys Ed., Nature, World Cultures, etc. When we register our child(ren) for co-op, we also sign up for at least two helping spots (this is the co-operative part!). The classes are split by ages, usually 4-5 year olds, 6-7. 8-10, and 11+, but it varies each year based on the ages of who registers. There’s usually 12-15 kids per class, There’s also Nursery for siblings under 4. Each class has a teacher, assistant, and a clean-up person. So if teaching isn’t your jam, you can sign up for Nursery or clean up slots instead. If you do like to teach, you sign up for whatever age group and subject you want, and you plan, prep, and teach that class.

So your kid goes to co-op 10 times, and twice you teach, assist, or clean up. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

This is an awesome social time for the kids- first they have class, do a little learning, practice group manners and listening to an adult that isn’t their parent, and things like raising hands, standing in line, etc. that are normal “school” things but not normal “homeschool” things (in fact watching homeschoolers try to make a line can be extremely amusing ). After class, everyone eats lunch together and the kids have free time, which almost always leads to a giant game of tag or capture the flag or some sort of running, maniacal, being loud game. Parents get to socialize too, we all chit-chat while the kids run amok. This co-op is huge (40+ families), organized, and has registration fees that cover building rental, insurance, and reimburses teachers for any supplies.

The second co-op we have is a PE Co-Op (physical education) which I organize from Fall to Spring, to keep the kids active. Usually, I send an email for registrants, and make an email mailing list of everyone interested. Everyone sends me ideas for fun things to do around the city in the colder months (the co-operative part in this group is the idea generating). I slot all the ideas into different weeks. This co-op meets every second week. So the schedule gets emailed out, and it looks like: Week 1: Swimming at city pool, Week 2: Biking at BMX track, Week 3: Snowshoeing at provincial park, Week 4: Ice Skating at arena, etc. For this co-op, you show up, or don’t, if you want to, and you pay your own family’s admission fees. Everything is an open-to-the-public activity. It’s very low maintenance, once it’s planned and scheduled, it’s done.

The third co-op we’ve been in was a specifically themed co-op. Lots of ppl do this style of Home Co-Op. You find a few families that have kids similar ages to yours, or that are already friends, you pick a topic you all want to cover, or want help covering, and you split up the work. Some people do a subject like Geography, or Canadian Government. We did one last year that was a book club.

No one knows what the future will look like, Covid wise, for these sorts of get togethers, but it’s a little info for you to start mulling over in your brains, and maybe even figuring out how to run your own virtual version.”

Thank you so much Lindsey for all this amazing information on what a Co-Op can look like. Do you have more questions? Feel free to leave a comment and we will get back to you.

Let’s Talk About: Finances

Hey Lindsey, what advice do you have for the new parents out there that want to start homeschooling but are worried about the financial aspect of it?

“A new homeschooler asked me this exact question the other day about the costs of homeschooling. This is one of those questions that can have a WIDE variety of answers… depending on your curriculum choices, and how many field trips and activities you choose to go on. So it’s a tricky one to answer and can vary widely, but I can tell you how it breaks down for us. I’m a planner and that goes for my home life as well as school so I track all our finances every year.

For the last 4 years, we have averaged $800/year for homeschool costs. This is for TWO children, so $400/year/child. These numbers include our curriculum, supplies, field trips, etc. Anything I wouldn’t have spent if I wasn’t homeschooling.

Now before you balk at spending that kind of money, let me give you a quick comparison… In 2016 when both my children were in public school I also tracked our spending. We spent $850 ($425 per child) on public school. Most people think of public school of being “free”, but think about that for a minute… From Back to School supplies to the teacher’s year end gifts, the public schools are constantly asking for money! And you have less choice in what you spend your money on and what you get for it. Back to School supplies, the “right” clothes for fitting in, indoor shoes, field trips, hot lunches, valentines for the class, milkshake day, pizza day, candy cane day, etc etc etc, the bbq, the fair, the auction, REPLACING THINGS THAT ARE STOLEN, teacher gifts at Christmas and year end, the fundraisers (oh so many fundraisers!) and the things your kids *need* to fit in (ever spent money on a fidget spinner???). It adds up!! I would say we were very middle of the road for participation in school events. We bought into enough special events that the kids didn’t feel left out, but didn’t do every single one, we didn’t get hot lunch every day but did get it on Fridays, we bought *something* from the fundraisers but we didn’t go crazy, etc. So again, you could spend more or you could spend less than we did, this is just an example. Homeschooling costs some money for sure, it can even easily cost more than public school, but you do get to decide for yourself what it gets spent on. 

Our Curriculum: I mostly build my own homeschool curriculum, but I do buy a few units/programs here and there. You could choose to purchase really expensive programs for every subject and easily spend $1000/child/year, but you can also get really good affordable premade curriculum as well. You could make all your own curriculum or unschool and spend a lot less, but I always say you’re going to spend either money, or time, one or the other. Which you would rather or can feasibly spend depends on your own situation and family. I would say we are middle of the road when it comes to curriculum purchasing, because we spend around $200/year.

Field Trips: We go on SO MANY FIELD TRIPS. In public school they usually take 2 field trips per year. We average 2 field trips per month. We are not middle of the roaders here- I take them on almost every field trip that gets offered, organize plenty of my own for our group, and just love getting the kids out in the world and away from the books. So we probably max out our spending on field trips! (And dang it, Covid, you’re going to ruin this for us this year!!)

Activities and Extra Curricular’s: Ok this is a hard one because does it count as homeschool if you do it during the daytime, instead of evenings and weekends? I ended up tracking our extra curricular spending separately from homeschooling because most of it we would have been doing anyway. In a lot of cases homeschooling has actually saved us money on these activities. For example, my daughter always wanted to do gymnastics, but at nearly $500/year we could never afford it. Now she does gymnastics through our homeschool group, at $180/year. Technically homeschooling cost us that extra $180 because we weren’t spending anything on gymnastics before, but now she gets to do an activity she wasn’t able to do before. A lot of places that cater to children are sitting empty during daytime hours, and will give homeschool groups a steep discount. (Don’t get me started on how much more relaxing and family oriented our lives have become now that our evenings and weekends are free of bustling about to extra curricular activities!!)

Supplies: You really don’t need a lot of supplies to homeschool, and most of what you might use you probably already have in your home (like craft supplies, legos, and writing utensils). We spend WAY less money on supplies, clothing, and shoes, than we did when the kids were in public school.

I hope that break down helps some of you out. There’s so much variety of spending options with homeschooling, especially curriculum, but sometimes it helps to hear (see) at least one person’s experience as a starting point, and I do feel that we’re very middle ground spenders in the homeschool world.”

As always, thank you Lindsey for helping us with the financial aspect of what homeschooling can look like. Homeschooling can be accomplished, even when living on a tight budget.

Let’s Talk About: The Armour Our Kids Wear with Lindsey

Lindsey refers to her child’s attitude as ‘school armour’, what exactly does she mean? Let’s find out.

“I’ve always referred to the attitudes my kids had to wear in school as armour. It’s an attitude, and the attitude says: I’m tough.

I don’t listen to authority because good citizenry isn’t popular.

I don’t care about my grades because learning is for nerds.

I’m sarcastic because it’s funny and makes my immature friends laugh.

I’m rude to my siblings because only my peers are worthy of my respect.

I back talk to my parents because I’m too cool to be a good listener.

I’m cool.

I’m too cool to be a good student, a good sibling, a good kid.

When our kids get home from school each day, they’re exhausted. The weight of carrying their armour around all day has worn them out. Some express this with meltdowns, tantrums, overwhelming emotions (crying or getting angry for no reason). Others express it with bad attitude, being disagreeable, back talking. And others have to zone out, stare at the tv or a video game. And some may tip the other direction, and have an explosive amount of energy, pent up from containing their true selves inside their armour all day. I saw this happen with both my children.

Removing their armour takes time.

March Break, one week, it’s not coming off. Maybe by Thursday or Friday they’re starting to shed the armour and their behaviour is improving, but by Sunday they’re suiting back up again, ready to take on the school environment on Monday morning.

Christmas Break is better, two weeks, maybe two and a half, and by the end of week some of the armour has fallen away and you’re starting to see your sweet, kind child again. It always made me so disappointed if Christmas Break didn’t start until *just* before Christmas. I’d rather the kids have more time off before Christmas than after, more time to shed that armour attitude before the holiday comes around!

Summer was always the best. I couldn’t wait for summer break! Give them a week, give them two, and boom! my sweet kids are back! They’re getting along, they’re friends again, they love their parents and are willing to show it, they’re playing age appropriate games again! They always seemed to regress in terms of interests and play in the summer, but in a good way. They don’t have peers watching them and assessing their every move and decision for “coolness”, so they will engage in more juvenile games. Especially an older sibling playing with a younger one.

I noticed as my oldest promoted through the grades, that it was taking longer and longer for him to shed his armour when school took a break. I could see that with each passing year, the more he wore the armour, the more he became the armour. I felt that if something didn’t change, he would just become the kid he was while wearing his armour. Maybe that’s what an obnoxious teenager is after all, they are your sweet child, trapped in the armour they wear to protect themselves from the world?

And what of the kids who don’t figure out how to wear the right armour? What of the sweetest, gentlest, kindest and most naive of our children? Those without armour are the ones who fall victim. They get bullied, they are nerds, they are outcasts. They’re in danger of feeling rejected, shunned, being physically harmed, emotionally damaged, or developing mental illness. Not wearing armour isn’t the easy way.

Our kids need to wear their armour. Until our school systems are torn out at the roots and rebuilt in a better, healthier, more kindness and community based way, the best we can do for them is help them polish their armour. Help them carry the load. Be understanding, patient, and kind when they seem distant, rude, and unreachable. Teach them to use their armour as a shining knight would, to defend those they come across without any on at all. Our kids can’t remove their armour if they feel their parents are angry, annoyed, or impatient with them. That’s not to say that bad behaviour doesn’t require discipline, but try not to start believing they are the armour and not the kid underneath. You know who they are. Who they really are. Be as patient and understanding of the stress and weight their armour puts on them as you can. And be there, waiting for them, when they do find those times that they’re able to drop the armour off, shed its weight, and be themselves.”

I love this armour metaphor that Lindsey is talking about here. Are your kids holding tight to their armour from school? There’s hope. As Lindsey said, it takes understanding, patience and kindness even when they’re driving you nuts with their attitude. Lindsey was able to peel back the armour that her kids were wearing – you can too!