Homeschooling Archives - Schoolio™️

Why Does My Child Hate Reading?

Picture this, you’re at the library struggling to find books for your child who hates reading. When another mom has her kid come sit with her. Her kid looks probably 2 – 3 years younger than yours. And she says ‘Let’s read.’ The child then begins reading, perfectly. No fuss, no muss. Just reading. It feels like a punch to your gut. You’ve been working so hard on teaching your child to read but they just don’t want to. What do you do?

First of all, stop comparing. We are taught from a young age to compare ourselves to others. It just seems natural. ‘She has better hair than me.’ ‘Her skin complexion is so much nicer than mine.’ ‘His car is way better than my car.’ ‘If only I could get the promotion like he got.’ It’s dangerous, and unhealthy to compare ourselves to others, yet it feels so unbelievably right. The danger is that in this situation you are comparing your child to another child. And then in turn, teaching your child that they don’t measure up. That they need to be like someone else.

Obviously you want your child’s learning to be on track. You want them to read, write, do all the math problems, listen to everything you say and be perfect in some way. But listen up: perfection is a myth. There is actually no one way that we should be. That applies to us, and our children. When we let ourselves slip, and compare, we poison our home school environment. Sounds harsh, but it’s true. And here’s how:

I struggle severely with comparison, I always have. But when I allowed that to trickle into our homeschool, I was a mess and my kids weren’t loving it. Suddenly I felt incomplete. I felt lacking. I felt frustrated that my kids weren’t doing what other families were. That constant negative soundtrack playing in my mind, would cause me to become agitated much more, which clearly didn’t help with teaching or my kids attitudes. In order to help your children grow and learn in a happy environment you need to free yourself, and them, of the comparison chains. Your child isn’t reading like that kid at the library, so what? Are you working on it? Yes. So why bother comparing?

My oldest daughter had a really, really difficult time reading. She was 7 and still was reading at a beginner level. Everything I tried, failed. I was frustrated with myself, I had feelings of failure. Like, I wasn’t doing something right for her. But the truth is, I was. She just needed time. She went from reading beginner levels to reading levels far higher than her age, in just a matter of months. How did this happen? She was ready, I was patient.

We like to think that kids should be reading at 4, and be experts by 6, forgetting that every child is on their own timeline. Your child doesn’t read at 5? That’s ok. You feel like the time you put into teaching reading is wasted? It’s not. Sitting down with your child, going over letter sounds, and sight words, it all goes in their sweet little minds. It may feel like it’s not sticking, but one day everything just clicks. It does! The issue is that we let ourselves compare way too much. So stop. Don’t compare your child’s reading to another child’s. Everyone has their own timeline. Every child develops differently and that’s not a bad thing. Remember when they were just a baby and you were hoping they’d say their first word? You waited, you said ‘Mama, Mama’ to them. And that stuck. They did it! (Maybe they said Dada first) Even so, they did it. You weren’t standing over them, getting frustrated saying ‘Come on baby, just say Mama! Why can’t you say Mama?’ Instead you were loving, you’d peek their interest by lovingly saying words over and over, with kindness and a smile.

That sweet little bundle of joy grew, and grew and naturally you think they need to be reaching reading milestones, and I assure you they will.

Below is list of tips that I’ve learned from our own homeschool reading journey:

Make reading enjoyable. As stated above, don’t pressure your child with timelines. Don’t compare them. Don’t get stressed when they just can’t figure out that word that you’ve taught them a hundred times. Instead, make it enjoyable. Snuggle up with them, help them with the words. Cheer for them when they get it right. Be kind and understanding when they get it wrong.
Be very patient with your child. Deep breathe. I know this is hard. Especially when you’ve been teaching and you’re exhausted. Don’t try to hustle them into that next reading level. Just take it one step at a time, even if the steps are small and exhausting.
Be calm. Your child feels your energy. When you’re agitated and annoyed, they will be. Or, they will feel like they never get it right, and that could lead to further issues. So just take it easy.
Try switching up their reading times. Do they get more annoyed in the afternoon, the evening? Try reading in the morning with them. Or vice versa. Make a nice breakfast and read together.
Break it up. My second daughter struggles with large paragraphs. Seeing all the words together overwhelms her. So we read those together. She will read a sentence, I will read a sentence. She has trouble sounding something out, I help her. We work as a team, and enjoy the process together.

Your child’s got this. And you’ve got this. Their reading level is not a reflection of how great a teacher or parent you are. You aren’t damaging your child. Their reading is a reflection of their very own timeline. That doesn’t mean throw the books in the closet and turn on the T.V. That means, each and every day read a little more. Utilize the steps above. Enjoy it. They’re going to get this sooner than you think. You are doing an amazing job my friend.

Jaymee Davis is a stay-at-home/ work-at-home/ homeschool mama. Her goal is to help you have the very best homeschool experience possible. She believes you can do anything, and wants to foster that belief in yourself.

How Do I Balance Teaching Multiple Grades?

I read a question from another homeschool mama that went something like this, ‘How do you balance teaching more than one child in different grade levels at the same time?’ I have three children, ages 9.5, 7.5 and (almost) 6. That translates to me teaching grades 1,3 and 4. It’s busy! I won’t lie and try to convince you otherwise. Last week I posted a blog and I stated that I felt like Grade 1 was this huge milestone. I feel it’s the official ‘beginning’ to school. When my oldest daughter was in grade 2, and my second little lady was starting grade 1, I actually felt hugely overwhelmed. Now it felt like a balancing act. Like I was on a tight rope, holding both my daughters, trying so hard to keep up with everything so that neither of them would fall behind.

I know lots of homeschool families that make this whole teaching of multiple grades thing look so easy. And I just couldn’t figure out what their secret was. The things that they suggested to me, just didn’t work for our family and our schedule, as I also work a full time job from home. (I’ll write about that later) I never felt like I measured up to their level of success when it came to the balancing act of teaching multiple grades and honestly I just felt brutally upset with myself by the end of the day. Because all in all, something would get neglected. I wanted to be ‘supermom’ who had her act together, did arts and crafts and accomplished all the things. But most days I was the mom that would wait till her husband got home from work so I could lock myself in my bathroom for 10 minutes. So what are some things that I learned teaching multiple grades?

Every family is like a musical band. You can’t compare the Beatles to Led Zeppelin, they are different, both unique. In the same way you just can’t compare your family to another home school family. I was comparing myself to home school families that the dad was the only one working, and the mom got to stay home and just focus on the kids, school, and housework. (Which might I add is still so much) That’s not my life. So why compare myself to that? Each home school family is unique just like all the classic bands. And each is carving their own path in history. Your history, your story – not someone else’s.
Be patient. Not just with your kids, but with yourself also. You know those times when you’re exhausted, you didn’t sleep the night before and your child is just not applying themselves to their math at all? They literally have 4 questions left – they could finish it in 2 minutes, but instead, they’re hanging upside down in their chair, whining that they want another snack? Those are the moments I’ve had to work HARD on my patience level. Every part of me just wants to scream ‘COME ON JUST DO THIS!‘ But when I get angry, they lose focus even more. So I’ve learned (and am learning) to be patient with each of my children and to be patient with myself. I get so frustrated with myself when I feel like I haven’t checked all the boxes for the day, and that’s just not fair.
Remember all you did accomplish. It’s second nature to me to remember all things that I missed doing in a day, ‘I didn’t send that paper to the bank.’ ‘I didn’t send that work number to my boss.’ ‘I didn’t get the kids spelling done with them today.’ ‘We forgot to practise our musical instruments.’ Remembering all the things that you missed for the day will only cause your patience for yourself (and sometimes your family) to crash. Instead, at the end of the day, remember all the amazing things you did accomplish. You kept your kids alive, fed, happy, healthy, and educated. All in one day! Those are HUGE accomplishments. Think about it, you’re doing the job of a house cleaner, a cook, a doctor, and a teacher and often times much more. And you did all that! So forget your to – do list. You rocked this day! You should be proud of yourself. Sometimes it just takes changing your mindset, and focusing on something different to get you out of the broken shell of anxiety.
Spend time with each child individually. What I mean by this is: Pick your most difficult subjects in your house. For us, it’s Math. When I started teaching multiple grades I thought ‘This period is for math, and this one is for science, and this one is for language arts.’ But I’m not a school, and therefore I don’t need to run like one. Is it great to have a schedule? Yes! But I found teaching each of my kids math at the same time was hands down a nightmare. One kid would need help, so I’d be working with her and my other daughter would start screaming she didn’t understand her multiplication. And so I’d head over to her. But then my other daughter would start baulking about her frustrations with her number line. Then my son would want a snack. It actually took double time when we would try to do it all together. I thought it would save time and I was poorly mistaken. What has helped us on many a day, is doing math individually. I like to start with the youngest grade first. Right now my son is in grade 1, so we sit down and work on his math. His takes the least amount of time, and I’ve taught it 3 times now so I feel like much more of a pro. While he’s working on his math, the other two have play time. Or I set them up with a school subject they enjoy. When my son finishes his math, he then can enjoy a break. While I hop into grade 2 with my daughter. It’s much easier for my children to accomplish their math lessons faster when I spend time just with them. Sure some days they’re still flipped upside down in their chair, fussing that they don’t want to do the work. But most days go much smoother when I take this approach.
Blend different subjects. If your kids are close in age, try blending certain subjects. Like geography, or science. Have a scheduled part of the day where you all sit down at the table and work on science together, or learn some new geography together. Have fun with it.
Outsource some classes you are having trouble teaching. I outsource our French. Obviously, French isn’t mandatory with Ontario Curriculum. But I want my children to have more opportunities in life. And I always feel like bilingualism can get them one step closer to success. In the past we’ve hired a French tutor. But with COVID looming, and our schedules constantly evolving, I’ve found them some online French resources to help them learn.(But remember, me sharing with you that we do French does not mean that you should feel guilty if your kids aren’t doing French. It’s your homeschool) Or art, I LOVE art. However, it’s one thing that unforatunely gets neglected because I’m always so busy with every thing else. It’s fun to sign them up for an art class at FourCats. They get to get their creativity on and I get to have a nice hour long break from my kids. It’s a win win!

Your Homeschool journey is yours. I think – as with everything – when you start to compare yourself, your family, and your homeschool to other families. All you do is overwhelm yourself, and that overwhelm trickles down into your kids. The days that I’m stressed and anxious, my kids feel that, I let off that negative energy and they begin to get frustrated easier with their school. Just take it slow. You don’t need to accomplish everything today, home schooling is a process, so make sure to enjoy it. As always, I want you to remember that you are a rock star, you made the incredible decision to homeschool and you’re using amazing curriculum from Schoolio. If there’s anyone who can accomplish teaching multiple grades – it’s you.

Jaymee Davis is a stay-at-home/work-at-home/ homeschool mama. She believes that you can accomplish this homeschool thing. And she’s here to help you reach those goals, one step at a time.

Let’s Talk About: Socialization

Hey Lindsey, what’s the difference between Socialization and Socializing when it comes to Homeschooling?

Ah socialization, the most common question asked of the seasoned homeschooler. It’s asked by grandparents and aunts and uncles and family friends and strangers at the grocery store. It’s the source of memes and eyerolls and, yes, sometimes a snarky reply here and there. You have to cut us a break, because we get asked it A LOT. Like, a lot, a lot. And for some people, it’s actually insulting.

I don’t personally mind answering the socialization question repeatedly because I love to inform people about what homeschooling is really like. Homeschooling has been such an enriching and positive experience for our family that I can’t help but want to recruit everyone else to our side of the fence, where the grass is certainly greener from our view.

I like to answer the socialization question in two parts. Because I think people don’t 100% understand what they’re asking to begin with. There’s a difference between “socialization” and “socializing”. Socialization is the process by which a person learns the norms, values, behaviour, and social skills appropriate to his or her society. Socializing, on the other hand, means mingling sociably with others. When most people ask, “But what about SOCIALIZATION?” they are actually asking if my homeschooled children SOCIALIZE. But, since it was asked, I like to go ahead and answer to both.

First of all, yes, my homeschooled children SOCIALIZE. Homeschooling may be more popular than you realize. The numbers certainly differ from area to area, but in my city of 100,000 people in Eastern Ontario, we have more than 100 children who are part of our formal homeschool group- and there’s many more locally who are not part of the formal group. My children do all their extra curricular activities through our homeschool group, which includes, soccer, gymnastics, swimming lessons, art lessons, skating, and track and field. They go to an academic co-op once a month, and a physical education co-op twice a month in the winter. They go to themed parties for Halloween, Christmas, Easter, and at the beginning and end of the school year (our Not-Going-Back-to-School Beach Party on the first day of public school is a blast every year!), as well as weekly park meet-ups all summer long. We average 3 field trips per month from September to June- way out pacing the public school system- and these aren’t just meeting up at a museum and paying the admission, these are regular school field trips organized by our members and hosted and taught by the experts at the various locations. At all of these events, my children see the same groups of kids over and over. I’ll see an email come through for sign-up for some event, and the first thing I do is text the parents of my kids’ closest friends to find out if they’re signing up for that event too.

One amazing beneficial consequence to doing all our extra curricular activities with the homeschooling group, is that it’s ended the crazed rush of getting dinner, homework, and extra curriculars done on weekday evenings. Gone are spending Saturdays bustling from one child’s activity to the next. Our evenings are peaceful times, with healthy dinners, practical bedtimes, and no stressful rushing. Our weekends are for time together as a family.

Now that SOCIALIZING is out of the way, let’s talk about the word most people actually use without understanding what it means. SOCIALIZATION. If we’re talking about the process by which our young and impressionable children, with their growing and not-yet-fully-developed brains, are taught behaviour that is socially acceptable to the society in which they live- who do you think is best suited to provide this social instruction? The mature, experienced adults in their lives who love and care about them? Or their equally immature and inexperienced peers on the playground?

My homeschooled kids are not “helicopter parented”, in fact those who know me know I advocate strongly for free range parenting, but they do have the benefit of my presence as they learn to navigate the difficult waters of peer interaction and socialization. For example, when in public school, if my child had a problem on the playground with a friend, I wouldn’t hear about it until the end of the day. By then, the details are blurred, and my child has already had to make a decision on how to respond and action that decision long ago, when the incident happened. My feedback and guidance, in this instance, comes far too late. Alternatively, when we’re at homeschool activities, the children go off and play together independent of the adults, while we sit together and socialize ourselves. When something comes up, as always does with children, my children are able to come to me, explain the situation and problem before it’s escalated too far, and talk it through and get my guidance immediately. They can then make a decision about their next course of action, and I send them off to action that decision with the person they’re conflicting with. Social Conflict Expert (adult) Consultation and Guidance Independent Decision and Action. Usually followed up later in the day with reflection when I inquire as to how it went. This supported learning of social interaction and conflict resolution with a mature adult acting as advisor has led me to see many amazingly mature interactions between even very young children when they are both homeschoolers.

Speaking of mature interactions, have you ever sat and had a conversation with a homeschooled teenager? They are amazing individuals who have interests and beliefs, and things to say about them. No stereotypical teenage angst, sullen, withdrawn behaviour. No embarrassment to be talking to “old people”. These young adults are articulate and confident and are as lovely and easy to converse with as any adult my own age. I’ve met introverted and extroverted homeschooled teens, but I’ve yet to ever meet the socially awkward, bow-tied, weird “stepford” kid that gets passed around in the stereotypes of homeschooled children.

The benefits of being socialized as a homeschooler are numerous, and yet a lot is said, especially lately, about the “mental health benefits” to children going to school. And always one of the reasons they benefit from school is said to be the “social aspects”. While some children enjoy school, an equal number, if not more, hate it there, either due to the academics or the “social aspects”. I would argue that the public school system is not a positive social education for the majority.

In public school, children are cohorted based on birth year alone. For homeschooled children, they make friends based on interests and personality, rather than year of birth. Both my children have a “best friend”, and neither of their best friends are the same age as they are. Age is a non-issue when it comes to choosing friends in the homeschool world. Part of the toxic culture of public school is the idea that it is “uncool” to socialize with anyone younger than you. Therefore, rarely does anyone socialize outside their age bracket, especially as they get to older elementary years. The smaller the school your child attends, the fewer options they have for friends out of this select age group.

The culture of public school teaches kids these toxic socialization rules, another one of which is that adults are the enemy. Being close to an adult or teacher is not cool (“Teacher’s Pet”), speaking up when rules are broken is not cool (“Tattle Tale”), and consulting and confiding in parents is definitely not cool. Hiding things from the adults, getting away with things, and breaking rules is what is considered cool in this culture. On top of all this, fitting in is the most important social achievement of all. Above all else, conform. Conform, or your life will be made miserable. Failure to conform to the social rules of public school will end with you either being bullied, or at a minimum ostracized and without friends and support. This is a high pressure atmosphere our young people are interacting in every single day, and it’s no wonder so many children suffer from anxiety. Children who enjoy the social side of school are the ones who are best at conforming, either because it follows their natural personality or because they work at it, which is also high-stress and exhausting even if successful. And I think we all know what constant high levels of stress do to a person’s ability to learn, don’t we?

Now some will say, “but kids need to go to school to learn how to deal with those negative interactions, for the real world!”. Ok first of all, how much is the public school system a reflection of the “real world”? And here’s the difference between being bullied at public school, and dealing with the inevitable jerk at work in the “real world”: when you’re a child at public school (first of all, you’re a CHILD, not an adult), school is your WHOLE WORLD. When you’re an adult and have a job, you may have a jerk for a boss or a colleague that bullies you, but at the end of the day you come home to your family, you have friends who have no relation to your work, and you have support and camaraderie outside of the toxic environment work may be. For our kids, school is it. Yes, they come home to their family who love them and certainly want to help and support them, but remember that the culture of public school has taught them that adults are the enemy, and they know that confiding in their parents will make the bullying worse if it’s discovered by their tormentors. They don’t usually have friends outside of the school, so if they’re an outcast at school, everyone knows it. Children also lack the brain development for the kind of foresight that tells them that this won’t be how life is forever. This is why we see children committing suicide or shooting up their school mere months from graduation. Furthermore, if an adult has a toxic work atmosphere, they can actively work towards changing it- remedial education, job hunting, change of department, etc. Children do not have those options, to them, there’s no way out. Bullying at school is more than “learning to deal with jerks”, it is incessant and inescapable. How can we know all this, and still think the culture at public school is a positive social experience?

So to answer the question they didn’t ask but meant to, yes, my children regularly SOCIALIZE. And to answer the one they did ask but maybe had never really considered, no my children don’t need school to learn SOCIALIZATION. They’re being socialized in a positive, loving environment, and they are, in my opinion, all the better for it.

Will My Grade 1 Child be isolated?

With the COVID-19 situation evolving, many parents are concerned about their child’s safety in a school setting. And rightfully so. There’s something terrifying about putting your child in a vulnerable situation that could open them up for infection. So now you’re looking for satisfactory, homeschool alternatives for your grade 1 child that will measure up or surpass their current education. Well, you’re in the right place. Schoolio offers only the best materials for you and your child.

So, you’ve found an exceptional curriculum that follows grade 1 Ontario curriculum but you’re still struggling with doubts about homeschooling your child. What concerns are you struggling with?

Could it be the social aspect of homeschooling? I think that’s honestly the number one concern that I hear from parents when they’re considering homeschooling. ‘I don’t want my child to miss out on the social aspect of school.’ And fair enough, the stereotypical aspect of home school, would make you believe that children can’t be socialized while homeschooling. But I’m here to tell you that’s just not the case.

My children have an excellent social network. In fact, my daughter has more friends than I do. But how? And where do they meet these friends? Every city has a homeschool group, or sometimes more than one. (And if your town doesn’t have one – start one!) These homeschool groups are run by talented individuals who care about the mental and educational well-being of your child. They care about their education and most importantly, their safety. Our local homeschool group has many different opportunities for socialization. Like ‘Bubble Homeschool Gymnastics’, where the children are joining a bubble of other children to have weekly gymnastics classes together. There are also art classes at art studios like, 4 cats! Swimming lessons, park dates, co-ops, French tutoring with other home school students, Soccer, outdoor PE, and the list goes on and on.

There’s absolutely no reason your child can’t be socialized. There are so many different opportunities for them to get out there and make friends/see friends. When most people think of home school, they think of children out on a country farm, sitting in a field playing with sticks, never seeing other people or kids and possibly also having their education completely neglected. But guess what? That’s completely not the way!

When COVID-19 hit and quarantine began, many people got a taste of having their children home for school. And it probably confirmed their beliefs that homeschool is isolating, but how could it not be in that situation? That was called ‘Isolation schooling’, not home school. Homeschool is a much better, wholesome experience. So, let’s not make the mistake of putting isolation schooling and homeschooling in the same category. They’re so different.

You’re worried that maybe your child won’t be getting the same mental stimulation and education as in school? Well, my friend, that’s also not the case. Schoolio takes education very seriously, while making it fun and enjoyable for your child. Following strict grade 1 Ontario Curriculum, you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to making sure your child is learning the right amount of material.

Maybe you’re afraid that you won’t be a good teacher, or that you won’t be able to handle that extra pressure on your own. First of all, don’t doubt yourself. You are a brilliant human being that makes the best decisions – like choosing to homeschool your child and utilizing Schoolio to accomplish that. Schoolio cares about you and your child. We are here to help. If you have any issues with your curriculum or questions about the content – just ask!

If you are able to stay home with your child, then deciding to homeschool them will always be a wonderful decision. Sure, you’ll have some tough days, some days that you just want to end. But each day gives you another opportunity to help your child learn and grow, and that’s a gift. Don’t let the little worries stop you from doing something that you know would be beneficial for your child. You are a champion, and you are going to rock this thing.

Jaymee Davis is a stay at home/work at home/ homeschool mama. She believes in your ability to teach your children from home, and aims to help you reach this goal.

Let’s Talk About: Co-Ops

Hey Lindsey, what is a Co-Op? And how can I run one in my own town or city?

“Great question! You may have heard homeschoolers mention co-op and not really understood what it was. Last year our homeschool group had a seminar/guest speaker on creating your own home co-op, so allow me share the wisdom with you!

What is Co-Op: Co-Op generally is any sort of “co-operative” grouping. The number of participants, rules, and themes can of course vary widely. It all depends on what YOU want out of it!

We participate in 3 co-ops, and all three are quite different. The local group we’re members of runs a large co-op. We meet once a month, and the co-op coordinator picks subjects for each month, like Science, Art, Phys Ed., Nature, World Cultures, etc. When we register our child(ren) for co-op, we also sign up for at least two helping spots (this is the co-operative part!). The classes are split by ages, usually 4-5 year olds, 6-7. 8-10, and 11+, but it varies each year based on the ages of who registers. There’s usually 12-15 kids per class, There’s also Nursery for siblings under 4. Each class has a teacher, assistant, and a clean-up person. So if teaching isn’t your jam, you can sign up for Nursery or clean up slots instead. If you do like to teach, you sign up for whatever age group and subject you want, and you plan, prep, and teach that class.

So your kid goes to co-op 10 times, and twice you teach, assist, or clean up. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

This is an awesome social time for the kids- first they have class, do a little learning, practice group manners and listening to an adult that isn’t their parent, and things like raising hands, standing in line, etc. that are normal “school” things but not normal “homeschool” things (in fact watching homeschoolers try to make a line can be extremely amusing ). After class, everyone eats lunch together and the kids have free time, which almost always leads to a giant game of tag or capture the flag or some sort of running, maniacal, being loud game. Parents get to socialize too, we all chit-chat while the kids run amok. This co-op is huge (40+ families), organized, and has registration fees that cover building rental, insurance, and reimburses teachers for any supplies.

The second co-op we have is a PE Co-Op (physical education) which I organize from Fall to Spring, to keep the kids active. Usually, I send an email for registrants, and make an email mailing list of everyone interested. Everyone sends me ideas for fun things to do around the city in the colder months (the co-operative part in this group is the idea generating). I slot all the ideas into different weeks. This co-op meets every second week. So the schedule gets emailed out, and it looks like: Week 1: Swimming at city pool, Week 2: Biking at BMX track, Week 3: Snowshoeing at provincial park, Week 4: Ice Skating at arena, etc. For this co-op, you show up, or don’t, if you want to, and you pay your own family’s admission fees. Everything is an open-to-the-public activity. It’s very low maintenance, once it’s planned and scheduled, it’s done.

The third co-op we’ve been in was a specifically themed co-op. Lots of ppl do this style of Home Co-Op. You find a few families that have kids similar ages to yours, or that are already friends, you pick a topic you all want to cover, or want help covering, and you split up the work. Some people do a subject like Geography, or Canadian Government. We did one last year that was a book club.

No one knows what the future will look like, Covid wise, for these sorts of get togethers, but it’s a little info for you to start mulling over in your brains, and maybe even figuring out how to run your own virtual version.”

Thank you so much Lindsey for all this amazing information on what a Co-Op can look like. Do you have more questions? Feel free to leave a comment and we will get back to you.

Let’s Talk About: Finances

Hey Lindsey, what advice do you have for the new parents out there that want to start homeschooling but are worried about the financial aspect of it?

“A new homeschooler asked me this exact question the other day about the costs of homeschooling. This is one of those questions that can have a WIDE variety of answers… depending on your curriculum choices, and how many field trips and activities you choose to go on. So it’s a tricky one to answer and can vary widely, but I can tell you how it breaks down for us. I’m a planner and that goes for my home life as well as school so I track all our finances every year.

For the last 4 years, we have averaged $800/year for homeschool costs. This is for TWO children, so $400/year/child. These numbers include our curriculum, supplies, field trips, etc. Anything I wouldn’t have spent if I wasn’t homeschooling.

Now before you balk at spending that kind of money, let me give you a quick comparison… In 2016 when both my children were in public school I also tracked our spending. We spent $850 ($425 per child) on public school. Most people think of public school of being “free”, but think about that for a minute… From Back to School supplies to the teacher’s year end gifts, the public schools are constantly asking for money! And you have less choice in what you spend your money on and what you get for it. Back to School supplies, the “right” clothes for fitting in, indoor shoes, field trips, hot lunches, valentines for the class, milkshake day, pizza day, candy cane day, etc etc etc, the bbq, the fair, the auction, REPLACING THINGS THAT ARE STOLEN, teacher gifts at Christmas and year end, the fundraisers (oh so many fundraisers!) and the things your kids *need* to fit in (ever spent money on a fidget spinner???). It adds up!! I would say we were very middle of the road for participation in school events. We bought into enough special events that the kids didn’t feel left out, but didn’t do every single one, we didn’t get hot lunch every day but did get it on Fridays, we bought *something* from the fundraisers but we didn’t go crazy, etc. So again, you could spend more or you could spend less than we did, this is just an example. Homeschooling costs some money for sure, it can even easily cost more than public school, but you do get to decide for yourself what it gets spent on.

Our Curriculum: I mostly build my own homeschool curriculum, but I do buy a few units/programs here and there. You could choose to purchase really expensive programs for every subject and easily spend $1000/child/year, but you can also get really good affordable premade curriculum as well. You could make all your own curriculum or unschool and spend a lot less, but I always say you’re going to spend either money, or time, one or the other. Which you would rather or can feasibly spend depends on your own situation and family. I would say we are middle of the road when it comes to curriculum purchasing, because we spend around $200/year.

Field Trips: We go on SO MANY FIELD TRIPS. In public school they usually take 2 field trips per year. We average 2 field trips per month. We are not middle of the roaders here- I take them on almost every field trip that gets offered, organize plenty of my own for our group, and just love getting the kids out in the world and away from the books. So we probably max out our spending on field trips! (And dang it, Covid, you’re going to ruin this for us this year!!)

Activities and Extra Curricular’s: Ok this is a hard one because does it count as homeschool if you do it during the daytime, instead of evenings and weekends? I ended up tracking our extra curricular spending separately from homeschooling because most of it we would have been doing anyway. In a lot of cases homeschooling has actually saved us money on these activities. For example, my daughter always wanted to do gymnastics, but at nearly $500/year we could never afford it. Now she does gymnastics through our homeschool group, at $180/year. Technically homeschooling cost us that extra $180 because we weren’t spending anything on gymnastics before, but now she gets to do an activity she wasn’t able to do before. A lot of places that cater to children are sitting empty during daytime hours, and will give homeschool groups a steep discount. (Don’t get me started on how much more relaxing and family oriented our lives have become now that our evenings and weekends are free of bustling about to extra curricular activities!!)

Supplies: You really don’t need a lot of supplies to homeschool, and most of what you might use you probably already have in your home (like craft supplies, legos, and writing utensils). We spend WAY less money on supplies, clothing, and shoes, than we did when the kids were in public school.

I hope that break down helps some of you out. There’s so much variety of spending options with homeschooling, especially curriculum, but sometimes it helps to hear (see) at least one person’s experience as a starting point, and I do feel that we’re very middle ground spenders in the homeschool world.”

As always, thank you Lindsey for helping us with the financial aspect of what homeschooling can look like. Homeschooling can be accomplished, even when living on a tight budget.

Let’s Talk About: The Armour Our Kids Wear with Lindsey

Lindsey refers to her child’s attitude as ‘school armour’, what exactly does she mean? Let’s find out.

“I’ve always referred to the attitudes my kids had to wear in school as armour. It’s an attitude, and the attitude says: I’m tough.

I don’t listen to authority because good citizenry isn’t popular.

I don’t care about my grades because learning is for nerds.

I’m sarcastic because it’s funny and makes my immature friends laugh.

I’m rude to my siblings because only my peers are worthy of my respect.

I back talk to my parents because I’m too cool to be a good listener.

I’m cool.

I’m too cool to be a good student, a good sibling, a good kid.

When our kids get home from school each day, they’re exhausted. The weight of carrying their armour around all day has worn them out. Some express this with meltdowns, tantrums, overwhelming emotions (crying or getting angry for no reason). Others express it with bad attitude, being disagreeable, back talking. And others have to zone out, stare at the tv or a video game. And some may tip the other direction, and have an explosive amount of energy, pent up from containing their true selves inside their armour all day. I saw this happen with both my children.

Removing their armour takes time.

March Break, one week, it’s not coming off. Maybe by Thursday or Friday they’re starting to shed the armour and their behaviour is improving, but by Sunday they’re suiting back up again, ready to take on the school environment on Monday morning.

Christmas Break is better, two weeks, maybe two and a half, and by the end of week some of the armour has fallen away and you’re starting to see your sweet, kind child again. It always made me so disappointed if Christmas Break didn’t start until *just* before Christmas. I’d rather the kids have more time off before Christmas than after, more time to shed that armour attitude before the holiday comes around!

Summer was always the best. I couldn’t wait for summer break! Give them a week, give them two, and boom! my sweet kids are back! They’re getting along, they’re friends again, they love their parents and are willing to show it, they’re playing age appropriate games again! They always seemed to regress in terms of interests and play in the summer, but in a good way. They don’t have peers watching them and assessing their every move and decision for “coolness”, so they will engage in more juvenile games. Especially an older sibling playing with a younger one.

I noticed as my oldest promoted through the grades, that it was taking longer and longer for him to shed his armour when school took a break. I could see that with each passing year, the more he wore the armour, the more he became the armour. I felt that if something didn’t change, he would just become the kid he was while wearing his armour. Maybe that’s what an obnoxious teenager is after all, they are your sweet child, trapped in the armour they wear to protect themselves from the world?

And what of the kids who don’t figure out how to wear the right armour? What of the sweetest, gentlest, kindest and most naive of our children? Those without armour are the ones who fall victim. They get bullied, they are nerds, they are outcasts. They’re in danger of feeling rejected, shunned, being physically harmed, emotionally damaged, or developing mental illness. Not wearing armour isn’t the easy way.

Our kids need to wear their armour. Until our school systems are torn out at the roots and rebuilt in a better, healthier, more kindness and community based way, the best we can do for them is help them polish their armour. Help them carry the load. Be understanding, patient, and kind when they seem distant, rude, and unreachable. Teach them to use their armour as a shining knight would, to defend those they come across without any on at all. Our kids can’t remove their armour if they feel their parents are angry, annoyed, or impatient with them. That’s not to say that bad behaviour doesn’t require discipline, but try not to start believing they are the armour and not the kid underneath. You know who they are. Who they really are. Be as patient and understanding of the stress and weight their armour puts on them as you can. And be there, waiting for them, when they do find those times that they’re able to drop the armour off, shed its weight, and be themselves.”

I love this armour metaphor that Lindsey is talking about here. Are your kids holding tight to their armour from school? There’s hope. As Lindsey said, it takes understanding, patience and kindness even when they’re driving you nuts with their attitude. Lindsey was able to peel back the armour that her kids were wearing – you can too!