Tag: homeschooling and socialization

Homeschooling and Socialization

Homeschooling and Socialization is a topic that makes many homeschool families cringe. And it’s not because their children are inadequately socialized; it’s because so many people ask them about socialization and voice their concerns. From something as simple as walking through the grocery store during the day with their children, a homeschooling parent will likely get grilled about their choices, and random strangers will ask questions about homeschooling and socialization.

Homeschooling and Socialization go hand in hand.

This might surprise you, but homeschooling and socialization go hand in hand. In fact, many homeschooled children have better social lives than their traditionally schooled peers. How could this be possible? Well, first, let’s look at the facts. According to Think Impact Homeschooling Statistics, recent federal data shows that 3% to 4% of the school-going population in the United States is homeschooled. There are 73 million children in the U.S., which means over 2.9 million children are homeschooled in the U.S.

With that many children being homeschooled, do we still believe that they are all not adequately socialized? Of course not! Homeschooling has been growing in popularity for the last ten years, especially since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, when over 300 million students worldwide became homeschooled briefly.

Pandemic learning didn’t help stop the myth that homeschooled children aren’t socialized.

Unfortunately, when most parents and children were forced into remote learning through school boards during the pandemic, it did nothing to diminish the myth that homeschooled children aren’t socialized. Because children were being isolated with a makeshift version of online learning, parents also attempted to work from home simultaneously. This caused tremendous stress for parents and students alike and caused many parents and friends of the family to assume that what they were doing was homeschooling. Which they were not.

Recently I had a concerned citizen ask me why I would choose to homeschool my children, knowing that they wouldn’t get socialized and wouldn’t have as many opportunities in life—a shocking claim. Especially since statistics show that homeschooled children have a 67% College graduation rate compared to their public schooled peers at 59%, not to mention that my children have better social lives and many more friends than I do.

This person’s concern stemmed from watching their grandchild struggle through online/pandemic learning. And the isolation they felt. I kindly explained that homeschooling is 100% different from pandemic learning. And that my children have many opportunities to get out and socialize. Still, the person seemed bewildered.

A conversation with a homeschooled child.

As stated above, if over 2.9 million children in the United States are homeschooled, how could they all be isolated and live unsocialized lives? Have you ever had a conversation with a homeschooled child? They are usually the ones the explain in detail the project that they are working on. They are the ones that have unique interests and see the world through a much different lens than those around them.

Recently we had a family move to our neighbourhood that homeschools. While I was out for a walk with my kids, we stopped to say hello to two children playing catch. I welcomed them to the neighbourhood, and the one boy introduced himself, shook my hand and wished us a wonderful day. Why did this child interact so politely instead of ignoring our passing? Because many homeschooled children have opportunities to participate in socialization that other children don’t have access to. Let’s talk about that.

Socialization opportunities for homeschooled children:

There are so many opportunities available for homeschooling families to participate. Here are some of our favourites!

  1. Homeschooling Groups.

    Since there are so many homeschooling families, many families get together to plan fun activities and sports-related opportunities for their children. Most cities have such a large amount of homeschooling families that they have registered homeschooling groups. These groups offer support for homeschooling families, co-op learning, field trips, sports, and lessons.

    Are you looking for virtual socialization opportunities for parents? Check this out. 

  2. Sports.

    Our local homeschooling group comes with some fantastic perks, like gymnastics lessons, at a local gymnastics club, swimming lessons at the pool, track and field during the warm months, and gym/indoor pool rentals during the cold months, sledding, skiing, horseback riding and more.

  3. Park dates.

    During the summer months, when homeschooling activities are mostly paused, many homeschooling groups offer weekly meet-ups at parks in your location so homeschooling friends can get together to play and have fun!

  4. Community Service.

    Many homeschooling families understand the importance of the community. That’s why so many homeschooling families will volunteer at community events. Or care homes. Some homeschooling groups organize carolling and visits with local care homes during the holiday season. Other homeschooling families like to get involved in community gardens or soup kitchens. All of this community involvement helps children have budding and diverse social lives. They aren’t just socializing with their peers; they are also mingling with the community of people around them.

  5. Basking in the Arts.

    Since homeschooled children have more time during the day than traditional learning students, they have more time to get involved in the arts. This means they have more time to attend music lessons or art classes. Being able to develop those additional skills that will benefit them throughout their lives. This also means they will have more opportunities to meet people in the art community, which diversifies their socialization and opens their world to a new level of learning.

  6. More time for imaginative play.

    You can have homeschooling and socialization while still encouraging imaginative play. One of the top benefits of imaginative play is social development. When children engage in imaginative play, they can begin to understand relationships which help to improve their social skills and become more confident, connected, and self-reliant. And this results in children building better relationships with their peers.

  7. Good old fashion play.

    Just because your child is homeschooled doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t partake in friendships in their neighbourhood. Most homeschooled children have ‘homeschooled’ friends and ‘neighbourhood friends.’ Just like a traditionally schooled child will have ‘school friends’ and ‘neighbourhood friends.’ Evenings, weekends, and summer days are perfect for neighbourhood mingling and budding friendships with peers.

All this to say, that yes, homeschooling and socialization are partners. This terrible stereotype of homeschooled children is that they are always alone, awkward, rude, and don’t know how to take social cues. The opposite is true. Homeschooled children are brilliant and capable of having successful friendships and positive social lives. So, the next time someone doubts your children’s social lives, go ahead and point them to The Schoolio Blog!

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Socialization and Homeschooling

What is the number one homeschooling myth that drives homeschool parents crazy?

Does it have to do with Socialization and Homeschooling? You bet!  This whole idea that homeschooled children must be isolated and not able to understand social cues, needs to stop! Because the fact is that homeschooled children do have a social life. Whether you’d like to believe it or not, socialization and homeschooling go hand in hand.

Naturally, you’d think because I was homeschooled and grew up in the country that socialization and homeschooling weren’t a pair for my siblings and I. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. We went to homeschool events (yes, even back in the 90s). We had Christmas plays, and believe it or not I had a healthy social group filled with best friends.

My mom ran a soup kitchen in the city close to us, and she would take us with her every Tuesday to help prep food and serve the homeless. Sometimes when my dad had time off, he would come home and tell us to pack our bags. We’d jump in the truck with him and my mom and go for an adventure. We’d cross the border to the United States and travel up and down the East coast. Meeting tons of people, experiencing different parts of another country, and gaining valuable life experience.

Why the questions about Socialization and Homeschooling drive me crazy.

I started homeschooling my oldest daughter in 2015. I would get so frustrated with the constant questions from family, friends, neighbours and even strangers. A fan favourite was: “How are you going to socialize her?” Obviously, the same way you socialize other kids! It became increasingly difficult for me to restrain my attitude when I’d receive the same questions over and over again. By 2019, I had become a pro at answering these questions. I’d spew off all of the things that my children were participating in. Homeschool gymnastics, co-ops, French lessons, track and field, swimming lessons, park dates, field trips and more. My children have neighbourhood friends, homeschool friends and a long list of others. And, I was determined to prove to all the ‘What about socialization’ people that my kids were doing just fine in that department.

Then the pandemic hit, and with it brought isolation that we had never experienced before.

Now, I felt that I had to defend homeschooling in a whole new way.

Quickly I found that parents were taking to social media to say ‘Homeschooling sucks!’ when they were stuck in the thick of trying to deal with virtual learning. I remember telling people: “Virtual Learning, and pandemic learning are completely different from homeschooling.” But, not too many would agree with me.

Most parents assumed that because homeschooling was the same as virtual learning and isolation. This idea goes hand and hand with the myth that Homeschooled children don’t have a social life. When I chat with friends, acquaintances, my husband’s co-workers, and neighbours, the new question about socialization and homeschooling is: “Your lives wouldn’t have been that different because you already homeschooled before the pandemic.” Cue the eye roll. Yes, our lives were interrupted by the pandemic. Because, no, my children don’t just spend their time in the house reading books and ignoring the world outside. My children have had to go through isolation just like the rest of the children out there. We weren’t able to see friends, go to sports, activities, co-ops, and music lessons.

The issue lies with this idea that children need to go to traditional school in order to have a healthy social life. Is this actually accurate?

Before I answer that, I just want to clear something up first. It’s not Homeschooling against Traditional Education. It’s not a matter of ‘what’s better overall’. The point is, that homeschool parents are doing an excellent job of teaching their children, caring for them, cultivating their interests, and helping them to have a thriving social life. Public School parents are doing an excellent job also. Each family must decide what works best for them, traditional education or homeschool. Neither is wrong, so neither need to be bashed. But, for whatever reason Homeschooled parents are the ones that are constantly bombarded with the questions and the comments. The ones that are forever being asked about socialization and homeschooling. Why is that?

I really don’t know. I’d like to say it’s because it’s not the ‘normal’, and people don’t understand when something is different. But, that’s really not the case. Because since 2012 homeschooling has been on the up and up in both Canada and the United States. More and more families are turning to in-home education. I should point out that the turn towards homeschooling started well before the pandemic.

 

Am I just being defensive because it was our choice to homeschool? So, I feel I must defend their socialization to everyone that asks?

That could be. But I choose to look at facts and research first. Not just at my family and our social lives. But at the many, many homeschooling families around the world. Then looking at how their social lives compare to those of traditional education. According to Evidence for Homeschooling: Constitutional Analysis in Light of Social Science Research, “Studies demonstrate that homeschooled students are well socialized.”

“Several studies found no significant difference in the social skills of homeschooled and non-homeschooled students. Other studies found that homeschooled children score significantly higher on social development rating scales/questionnaires. For instance, one study using the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scale, a well-tested diagnostic tool of measuring communication and daily living skills, found that homeschooled students substantially outperformed traditionally schooled students. The average overall score for the homeschooled children on communication, daily living skills, socialization, and social maturity subscales was at the 84thpercentile compared to the 23rd percentile for the traditional schooled students.”

That’s an interesting find. Isn’t it?

Could it be that Homeschool parents are right to feel frustrated when people ask them the same questions about socialization and homeschooling?

Through direct observations and recording his findings on the standardized measure known as the Child Behavior Checklist, Richard Medlin, PhD, was able to measure students’ social skills. He compared the social behaviour of seventy homeschooled and seventy traditionally schooled eight to ten-year-olds. “These students were matched along demographic and socio-economic lines and found no significant differences between the two groups regarding measures of self-concept and assertiveness.” Read about it here!

Interestingly enough, Dr. Richard Medlin found that, based on the checklist, non-homeschooled students had more behaviour difficulties than homeschooled ones.

Want to know another really cool fact about socialization and homeschooling? When formerly homeschooled college students rated their own characteristics and personality traits. (They did this through a standardized measure called the NEO Five-Factor Inventory- 3. )These students showed to be significantly more agreeable, conscientious, and open minded than the national sample, consisting of mostly traditionally schooled children.

How could this possibly be the case?

Shouldn’t homeschooled children be the ones struggling with socialization? Nope. Why is that? Do traditionally schooled children have a social life because of the classroom setting? The answer is simple, no. When children are in class, they aren’t to talk. Socialization happens on the playground, on class trips, playdates, sports, volunteer work, in music and art classes. And guess what? Homeschooled children have all the same opportunities and often more!

The conclusion is, homeschooled children are not isolated, socially-lacking creatures.

Despite the myths surrounding socialization and homeschooling, homeschooled children do have a healthy social life.  So, next time someone starts to question how your homeschooled child could possibly have a social life. Remember these facts, or point them to this blog! It’s time to break down the stereotype that homeschooled children are destined to be socially awkward.

 

Read more from Schoolio about Socialization and Homeschooling, click here! 

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