But What About Socialization? (Let’s Talk About It.)
Ah yes… the classic question that every homeschooler has heard (probably a few dozen times):
“But… what about socialization?”
It’s asked by grandparents. Aunts and uncles. Curious friends. Grocery store strangers.
And yes, we’ve seen the memes. We’ve done the eyerolls. We’ve even — on occasion — offered a snarky reply.
But truthfully? I don’t mind the question. I like giving people a better picture of what homeschooling really looks like.
And when it comes to socialization, I answer it in two parts — because most people are actually asking the wrong thing.
?️ Part 1: Yes, My Kids Socialize
Let’s start with the easy answer.
Do my kids spend time with other kids?
Do they have friends? Go to activities? Go on field trips?
YES. Yes. And yes.
My kids were always part of our local homeschool group.
Here’s what my kids do with their homeschool group:
- Soccer
- Gymnastics
- Swimming
- Skating
- Art lessons
- Track and field
- Academic co-op (monthly)
- PE co-op (twice a month in winter)
- Holiday parties & themed events
- Weekly summer park meetups
- 3 field trips per month (far more than they ever got in public school!)
And best of all — these are the same kids they see over and over again. The friendships are deep and real. The connections are consistent. The community is strong.
We even text each other to coordinate sign-ups for events, just like any other friend group would.
So yes. My kids socialize. A lot.
? Bonus Perk: Our Evenings and Weekends Are Peaceful
Because our extracurriculars happen during the day (with our homeschool group), we’re not cramming activities into busy evenings or rushing around on weekends.
We eat dinner together.
We go to bed at reasonable times.
We rest.
Homeschooling has given us the gift of balance — and that’s good for everyone’s mental health.
? Part 2: Let’s Talk About Socialization (The Real Kind)
Now for the word people use… without really understanding it.
Socialization is the process of learning how to function in society — how to communicate, cooperate, handle conflict, and understand social norms.
And here’s a question for you:
Who’s better suited to teach your child social values —
other 8-year-olds on the playground…
or loving, emotionally mature adults?
When my child is at a homeschool event and has a conflict with a friend, they can come to me right away for support and coaching.
I help them understand the situation, plan a response, and reflect on how it went.
That means they’re learning social skills in real time, with guidance.
It’s not “helicopter parenting.” It’s real mentorship.
The result? Even very young homeschooled kids learn to resolve conflict with kindness and maturity.
? Homeschooled Teens Are (Surprise!) Really Cool
If you’ve ever had a full conversation with a homeschooled teen, you know what I mean.
They’re articulate.
Confident.
Curious.
Engaging.
Not sullen or withdrawn. Not afraid to talk to adults. Not obsessed with fitting in. Just… lovely humans.
No weird stereotypes. No Stepford vibes. Just kids who’ve had space to grow up at their own pace, in their own way.
? Public School Culture Is Not the Social Utopia People Think It Is
Yes, some kids enjoy the social side of school.
But many don’t — and for good reason.
Here’s what socialization looks like in most public schools:
- Friend groups sorted by birth year only (not interest or personality)
- Pressure to conform or risk bullying and isolation
- Toxic norms that teach kids not to trust or confide in adults
- A culture where “fitting in” > being yourself
Even kids who succeed socially often do so by constantly managing their behavior to meet those unwritten rules — and it’s exhausting.
We wonder why so many kids are anxious. But is it any surprise when the stakes of every interaction feel this high?
?♀️ “But School Prepares Them for the Real World…”
Here’s the thing:
Being trapped in a toxic environment with no way out is not “real world prep.”
Yes, adults deal with difficult coworkers. But as adults, we have:
- Control over our environment
- Emotional regulation
- Resources
- Options
Children don’t.
When a kid is being bullied at school, school is their entire world.
They often feel trapped, unsupported, and completely alone.
That’s not “character building.” That’s trauma.
✅ So Let’s Wrap It Up
Do my kids socialize? Yes. Joyfully, regularly, and with a diverse group of friends.
Are they socialized? Yes. In ways that are healthy, supported, and guided by loving adults.
And honestly?
They’re thriving — not despite homeschooling, but because of it.
Lindsey
Certified Special Ed Educator & Co-Founder, Schoolio